I should have confessions

I told you that I am married just so you would quit asking me out.

I should not have told you that "I love you" just so you would stop crying in front of our friends... Because I DONT!!!!!

I would like to watch the old couple next door fall on ice.

I really really dislike my neighbors- I wish I had never given them our phone number.

I'd like to tell the one neighbor her crap really does stink

I am prejudice... asians should not be allowed to drive a car let alone a shopping cart.

I should have kicked you in the nuts when you put your fingers in my hair!

I should have stayed out late with you the other night, but I had to go home to my wife. Thanks for the quickie!

I should have punched you in the face when you carelessly burned me with your cigarette! Bitch, dragon breath!

I should have stopped dating you when I found out you use to date my mom! You say she is better in bed than me, well your Dad is better than you!

I have not changed my underwear for 6 days... people are starting to whisper.

I should have been brave enough to give you the first kiss! I was old fassioned and thought you should have given me the first kiss! what happened? we never kissed ~ you moved away and now I wish I had kissed YOU! Maybe you would not have moved away. I sure miss you.

I should have told you that I hate your fiance, but now you are stuck with him. Please don't reproduce!

I should have told you that you were fugly! Now you go around in those skimpy clothes and look really really fugly! YUCK!

I should have left you downtown at the club, because you are not a good friend to me. I don't need you in my life!

Everyday on my way home from work I pick my nose and wipe it in the same spot under my seat, I call it my snot pile.

I told you it was good, but I could have slept thru it!

I am confessing that I always park in the Fred Meyer employee of the month parking stall. All of the employees there are lazy and rude and don't deserve to be an employee of the month. One time I got caught and still didn't move!

I work in the small cafe that you visit often, next time you are rude to me I swear I will pick my nose and drop it in your coffee!

I Fxxx everyone of my friends wives/girlfriends! must be the tounge action they get first! Gene Simmons is a beginner MWR

My boyfriend gave me a kitten for my birthday, I gave it to the humane society and told him it ran away. I hate cats.

That night when we all ended up in the same hotel room together I should have slept with you, now I may never have the chance...

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